Friday

So today I covered the rest of the prepared beds at Simms road with straw and then finished off weeding and preparing the rest of them. The black flies were out, really getting to me at times. They seem to really like my ears, the itching is truly a test of my equanimity. I’m all showered up and ready to go to the party. I’m not sure what to expect but it is a good crew here and I’m sure it will be a good time.

Thursday

So last night I hung out with Adam from BC, need I say more. I got to know him and this guy Matt a little better. Matt is from Kirkland. He is Polish and reminds me of Yakoff Smirnoff. Simon, one of the full timers in charge of forestry stuff, stopped by with a Keith’s in hand and sat down with us to play some cards. I was pretty quiet and the conversation stayed simple and related to the game of gin. This morning I helped Sally build a little bridge across a stream and to clear up some paths with a chain saw. This afternoon we were back to the Simms road garden. I planted some yellow peas of some sort, prepared some more beds, covered them with compost and then some straw, and of course I did some more weeding. I took Alan and Matt along the path I was introduced to this morning and almost got us lost. Alan showed me the path to the waterfall in the woods. It was quite fantastic. The whole thing is covered with moss and faces west so in the late day sun it was really incredible to look at. I love the soothing white noise of falling water. If Alan had not been with me I would have sat and absorbed it for a longer time. I’m going to try to get these posts onto the web tonight. I just heard Ali call us for dinner. Later.

Wednesday

Finished weeding the big organic CSA garden today. I was good and muddy so I rinsed off my boots and rain pants with the hose and took a nice shower. Dinner is being cooked tonight by Portia, the vegan no wheat girl. I overheard her talking to a boyfriend who had very recently become an ex-boyfriend last night. I tried not to eavesdrop but you can’t always control what subject gets your attention. There is going to be a party this weekend at the Simms house which is where a number of the full-timers live. They claim it will be like no party I have ever been to. Should be interesting. It has been cold around here and I have been very happy to have my sleeping bag and little fleece blanket with me. This place has had a few little tours of school kids come through. It has been nice to see the enthusiasm of the people who work here. They seem to really believe in what they are doing. Who knows how much new information I have processed or how many new thought tangents my mind has wandered down since I have been here. I look forward to many more.

Tuesday

So I’ve been working in three gardens so far. The Simms road garden, Gene’s garden, and the certified organic CSA garden. Mostly weeding, setting up chicken wire fences for the peas to grow up, seeding some beds with herbs, laying straw, raking rocks. I was so tired when I finished at five that I had to take a little shut-eye. There are lots of people here; full timers, interns, other woofers, management, help. I’m still working on that list of names. I’m enjoying hearing the fascinating stories of these people and their lives. Breakfast and lunch are eaten up at the main house and dinner is in my little cabin with the interns. My house is known as the Cheerio as it was some sort of motel at some point in it’s past. The sign above the door says “The Smurf House” which I feel is more appropriate. I went for a fairly long walk after dinner and explored a few of the many trails that start here and head up into the woods. I walked over some little man made bridges and sat and relaxed on a hand crafted wooden bench that was made from twigs and branches rather than planks or boards. When I got back I sat down and drew a little picture of my room.

Fallsbrook Day One

OK, so I made it to New Brunswick. The long bus ride started at 7:30pm yesterday night in Beaconsfield and ended at 8:55am eastern time in Florenceville, NB. The ride offered little sleep to this weary traveler due to tight space, a somewhat unwelcome seatmate for the first half of the trip, and a racing mind that was little interested in focusing on the soothing in and out of my natural breath. My ride Andrea was there within ten minutes of my arrival, enough to give me a slight case of the worries but not enough to cause any real panic. The day has been long, it still feels like yesterday. I did some weeding of a small berry garden and a larger vegetable garden, had a wonderful lunch and participated in a pot lunch dinner. I helped make some apple crisp so as not to show up empty handed. I’d go into more detail but I am very tired and need to meditate for a bit before I go to bed. My allergies seem to be bothering me but it may just be that cold I was suffering from or simply a lack of sleep. I’ll finish here by trying to remember as many names as I can. Andrea, Alan, Alli, Liz, Anne, Marcelle, Danielle, Sheila, Tegan, Leland, Leona, Katherine, Shasha, Wayne, Mike, Mike’s wife, Raylene, Gene, Elaine, Sam, Conny, Burle, Michael, Simon, Portia, Adam, Sara, Laurie, Matt, Sally, Jordan.

Peaceful Volunteering

Got back from the meditation centre last night. What a great way to spend two weeks. I was volunteering there for the spring work period. They were building a number of cabins in the woods and I got to help with some of the basic physical labour of carrying and shoveling and with some drywall cutting and initiating. I spent most of the time working in the kitchen preparing healthy hearty vegetarian meals for a crew of up to thirty and of course cleaning up afterwards. I can't describe the feeling of working with people who were all working for the greater good rather than their own. When there were problems we found solutions rather than someone to blame. When there were decisions to be made we tended towards consensus rather than relying on a leadership hierarchy. There were high levels of trust and responsibility. I learned and grew while I was there. Meditating using a technique aimed at eliminating blind reactions and seeing things as they truly are for three hours a day acted as a catalyst in the growth process. I met so many good people who I was able to share some of myself with in return for a bit of their selves. I helped out with a children'ss meditation course and was awed by the energy. Heading to New Brunswick on Sunday night for my next adventure, perhaps somewhere along the way I will try to capture some of my deeper thoughts, I've got plenty of them. All I'll say is that I have experienced something more than an intellectual understanding of the world beyond what I think I am and I am ready to experience more. An old friend is back in town, it will be good to see him before I leave. Time to go see an epic with my little brother.

Packing Forever

It's been tough filtering everything I have down to what I can carry. Thank goodness herself that I have access to a warehouse to leave my stuff in. No Buddha gonna tell me I can't have my stuff. I bought these granite gear compressor bags from the base camp store down the road, they certainly do compress stuff. N'stuff. I'm worried I don't have room for my runners. Hmmmm. Where there's a will ... There could have been a willy. I slept in the tent last night right here in the basement. I'm like a kid, I hope, (you wish old man), who said that? This computer is going in the bag, the old one is going upstairs for the family. I'm sure it will be the centerpiece of many many argumentsand control struggles in the near future. I wasn't here for the software transfer. Don't get me started about this computer. I think she snores.

Prime Again

I just realized that I'm prime again. Perhaps this holds some significance. I was trying to think if years 2, 3, 5, 7, 11, 13, 17, 19, or 23 play a more important role in my history. I remember thinking for several years that 23 was the ideal age (this line of thought only began once I was no longer 23). I will assume that prime years are significant in order to reap the rewards of a self fulfilling prophecy.

Tillsammans

My Definition

Don't you hate it when people tell you who you are? Tell you what you would do? Tell you what you would say? Tell you what you would choose? It's not so much that the act of prediction is unwelcomed, it's more that the certainty just rubs me the wrong way. How should you react to someone expressing their opinion of who you are as unquestionable fact? I try not to do it to myself even. There are ways of expressing things that acknowledges the difference between opinion and truth. Unfortunately in this day and age the former is far less elusive than, and often mistaken for, the later.

NB the Karma

I may have found a ride to New Brunswick. The timing and destination were almost prefect. Maybe having a few beers is good for the Karma.

Needsgiving

There is often a significant difference between giving someone what they need and giving someone what you think they need.

Absolute Understanding

I can't stand the absolute. Should we draw our lines in the sand or etch them in stone? I'm trying to turn your stone into sand, I'm not trying to redraw your lines. Turning the other cheek and turning your back are not the same thing. The willingness to die for something does not indicate a low valuation of life it expresses a high valuation of that something. People without a legitimate means of expressing themselves will find an illegitimate means. Your pain is not special. Nobody will ever understand you if you refuse to try to express yourself. Nobody will ever want to understand you if you do not want to understand them. Nobody will ever understand you if you do not try to understand yourself. You will never be finished trying to understand yourself. The people who love you are the ones who are willing to tell you the things you don't want to hear. The people you love are the ones you really listen to. There is nothing wrong with trying to understand something that you do not think you agree with. Nobody has it all figured out just yet.

Horns du Diable

Twenty Nine and all's well. I'm leaving on a little tour in a couple of weeks, I should start getting my sh1t together. I realized what \m/ represents the other day and I think I like it. Rock on baby!

Que Sera Sera

Some people pride themselves on knowing how the world is. Some people pride themselves on knowing how the world should be. Some people realize that neither is knowable and simply dedicate themselves to trying to make what will be a little better than what is.

Thou Shalt Know Hereafter...

Tough weekend. It seems that I shyed away from an opportunity for some deeper reflection, from the opportunity to encourage some deeper reflection, and from the opportunity to share the results of both. I still haven't found my true voice. My head is swimming and my heart is aching and neither understands the other. Perhaps some sleep will help.

Frustration in the Middle

I'm a little frustrated right now. I just had an argument where my side was the bigger picture, where my side was to see it from both sides, where my side was to face the pain and have faith that there is something better on the other side. I wasn't looking to be told that I was right, I was looking to be told that I might not be wrong. The people who are the most certain that others will never change are usually unwilling to change themselves. The cycle will never end if you continue to give what you receive and say that it was theirs to begin with. Am I repeating myself or what?

Is that really...

...Mitch Kramer in the bottom left pic?

Equilibrium To Forever

So if you hadn't noticed I changed the title of this thing. The source remains the same, the mood a little different. For whatever reason I have been thinking of this line over and over for the past week or so and finally acknowledged that it more accuratly defined my current undefinable pattern of thought. The sub-heading may experience a little flux over the next while. Any feedback?

The irony of the open mind

The closed minded are those who most strongly believe they are open and the open minded are those who are aware of just how closed they are. Once again I think it is more of a process than a state of the mind.