Left the Coast

The first leg of the road trip is complete. I made it from Vancouver, BC to Barrie, ON in five days; not so bad if I do say so myself; and averaging 100 kph. I only slept in the car one night. The drive was fantastic; mind and body riding the crest of a little red honda wave hand in hand. I experienced a wonderful cleansing journey. I might give the play by play later but for now: Beach Ave. goodbye, pothead hitchhiker, Frazier valley beauty, Arizona in BC, Rockies bathed in moonlight, Cranmore info center nap, Calgary in the wee hours, Tim hortons nap til sunrise, sun drenched plains, A&W nap til mid afternoon, Thai in Regina, Hostel to myself, clean and meditated and ready to go early, that's it I'm not going back to Winnipeg, deep cold, halo around the moon, frozen waterfalls at midnight, Thunder Bay hostel at 2am, oatmeal at the truck-stop, the town of Marathon on the coast of the largest great lake: "It's superior in the long run", Finally some blizzard, Trout in the Sault, a hotel out of time, highway 69 baby, cottage country from the other side, almost out of gas, Mommy!!!!!!! That about sums it up.

Orbiting with the Moon

I'm leaving Vancouver today. This will be my third continental crossing, my first heading east. I may not get a chance to write while I'm on the road but I'll see what I can do.

Lost and Found

Where are you? Are you lost in thought? Are you adrift in emotion? Are you inside someone's head? Are you burried in a book? Are you marooned in your habits? Are you secluded in the past? Are you swimming in the future? Perhaps you should pause for a moment to check the lost and found.

How it is

I came across this little description of a subset of the English language which eliminates the verb "to be" called E-Prime. Reading it brought to the surface many fragmented thoughts from the past.

I have often found the human inability to distinguish between opinion and truth fascinating. This interest has made me very sensitive to how people express themselves. Certainty frequently turns my stomach and I often find myself challenging people in an attempt to put a crack in their rock solid mindset.

The worst case of indigestion usually arises after a meal of unsolicited advice. It takes me back to my youth where I endured an individual who felt it necessary to impose her limited understanding of the world as if it were absolute truth. Opinions are open for discussion but facts are irrefutable.

So I'm working on not letting such narrowmindedness get to me through realizing that I am built up of similar dogmatic certainties. I see it as learning to tolerate intolerance; including my own.

So the next time you have something to say try offering your opinion rather than forcing your belief and I'll try not to take it so seriously. Better yet: share the experience off of which your opinion is based. Lets try to remember that we only know how it seems: not how it is.

One and the Same

A while back I aluded to and then used the expression cooperate yourself. How do you remedy a situation where there is a lack of cooperation? Communication is key. Lots of listening: no reacting. Bring both parties to the table and allow them to see the relationship for what it is. Apologies may be required. Promises may be needed. Begging for forgiveness might be necessary. There could be a few tears shed and a little laughter too. Neither of you can do it alone; unless you realize that you are one and the same to begin with.

Yea Baby

I got the job and my baby niece is healthy and beautiful. I taught my first tutoring session yesterday; grade eleven math. I got a hair cut and feel a bit like a little boy. I'm sure it will grow on me :) I'm feeling a lot of things right now but am very much at peace with it all. Maintaining my practice and remaining undistracted. Life is good.

Zen Parable

A man walking across a field encountered a tiger. He fled, the tiger chasing after him. Coming to a cliff, he caught hold of a wild vine and swung himself over the edge. The tiger sniffed at him from above. Terrified, the man looked down to where, far below, another tiger had come, waiting to eat him. Two mice, one white and one black, little by little began to gnaw away at the vine. The man saw a luscious strawberry near him. Grasping the vine in one hand, he plucked the strawberry with the other. How sweet it tasted!

Dhamma Good

I'm back. Got back to the city on Sunday afternoon. The Vipassana experience was fantastic. I realized that my previous experience with the meditation technique was very much an intellectually dominated one. During the ten days I faced myself in a way I never have, I let go in a way that I can't even begin to explain, I experienced knowledge from an entirely new perspective. This experience has given me a healthy detachment from suffering that is allowing a holistic personal healing process to proceed at unprecedented rates. If I weren't so balanced I'd be ecstatic!

My newfound connectedness was quickly tested. Upon my return two phone messages awaited me; one with the promise of a very exciting job in New Brunswick and the other with the news that my maternal grandmother had passed away. My grandmother had been through a significant decline in mental and physical health and this news was not quite as jarring as it might seem, perhaps positive closure even. I had a phone interview for the job today and I think it went well.

All in all I have to say that this is a significant moment in my life. I feel a clairity that I have seen only but glimpses of over the past many years, my sister is in the process of giving birth, and it is the new moon of a new rooster year. Seems to be some sort of convergence happening. If you have a moment try and see if you can feel it too.

Starting Something?

Still in Van. Still working on finding an income of some sort. I'm heading to the local Vipassana centre for a ten day sitting starting on Wednesday. It has been a year since my first and last course so it would seem that I am due. I'm looking forward to the experience. I feel good, like I'm starting to embrace rather than resist uncertainty. For now at least. I have an interview on Tuesday, nothing too serious but it's a start. This coming full moon is feeling better than the last few.

Sure Thing

Are you certain? You talk like you are. You act like you are. You think like you are. You know what you want, you know what's best, you know how it is. You always have the answer. Listen to yourself. Watch yourself. Experience your thoughts. Maybe, just maybe, there is more to it than you know.

Daily Zen

"Do not mistake understanding for realization, and do not mistake realization for liberation"....Tibetan Saying.

Chew on This

Our Religions: Are they the Religions of Humanity Itself?

Say it like it is

There is a difference between what you say and how you say it. Filtering what you say is a far simpler task than filtering how you say it. How you say things is a strong indicator of what you really think, how you feel, and who you are. To change that is not a simple matter of choice. It seems we are often more concerned with the surface and fail to address the core. We need to work on being rather than appearing to be.

Running on Empty

Haven't been writing much in here lately. New city, new year, new moon; same old gut wrenching internal conflict, uncertainty, confusion, loneliness, and fog. Still working on the practical side of things I understand mostly at a conceptual level. Implementation is meant to be a rough and difficult process.

I was thinking about all the connections and disconnections of my life and felt a combination of appreciation and longing. Simultaneously full and empty feelings. It's hard not to focus on the empty. It's hard not to give in to the empty. It's hard not to become attached to the empty. It's hard to accept the empty without believing that it needs to be filled with anything other than understanding.

I've got a backlog of things I want to express. Building your own metaphors, trying to find it is how you lost it in the first place, comfort zone horizons, and pride destroying your strengths. I'm going to try to get back to the book.

I've been playing with this little idea of life-cycles. At first I was thinking of them as ABCABCABC... I'm starting to think that it is more like ABCCBAABC... or something like that. Perhaps a different notation could be used like ABCC'B'A'A''B''C''. I'll have to elaborate later.

Enough jibber-jabber. Happy New Year everyone, lets make it one worth remembering.

Turn down the suck

Beach avenue. The view is fantastic. The weather is mild and the afternoon sun is delicious. Such is the city. Drove out to the UBC campus with a couple'a pil. I am meeting up with an old friend tomorrow. He teaches semiconductor stuff at SFU. His first name is the same as his last name. I also managed a lunch date with a girl I met on a plane a year ago for the thirty-first. She's married. I need a paycheck.

Crazy Talk

Here's to chance encounters. The thoughts of possibilities race on.

http://www.strout.net/python/poo/

Do you Poo?

Vancouver

I have arrived. Got a welcoming fit for a king. A king of skids at least. The next adventure begins here and now.

I Could Never

I was thinking about people who say that kind of thing. How the fuc& do they know what they would do? Imagine knowing your future self as well as they do.

Banff

I made it to the Rockies. Since my last post I stayed at a snore filled dorm room in Winnipeg, a big empty hostel in Regina, and then hooked up with an old friend from uni in Calgary. We went skiing at Sunshine on Friday and I lived the well paid lifestyle for the weekend. We even went and played some shinny hockey on Sunday night. I'm just a little sore. The hostel here in Banff is packed with young little party people. Well, on to Nelson. This leg of the drive should be interesting.