Friday, April 30, 2004
I just realized that I'm prime again. Perhaps this holds some significance. I was trying to think if years 2, 3, 5, 7, 11, 13, 17, 19, or 23 play a more important role in my history. I remember thinking for several years that 23 was the ideal age (this line of thought only began once I was no longer 23). I will assume that prime years are significant in order to reap the rewards of a self fulfilling prophecy.
Monday, April 26, 2004
Don't you hate it when people tell you who you are? Tell you what you would do? Tell you what you would say? Tell you what you would choose? It's not so much that the act of prediction is unwelcomed, it's more that the certainty just rubs me the wrong way. How should you react to someone expressing their opinion of who you are as unquestionable fact? I try not to do it to myself even. There are ways of expressing things that acknowledges the difference between opinion and truth. Unfortunately in this day and age the former is far less elusive than, and often mistaken for, the later.
Sunday, April 25, 2004
Saturday, April 24, 2004
Thursday, April 22, 2004
I can't stand the absolute. Should we draw our lines in the sand or etch them in stone? I'm trying to turn your stone into sand, I'm not trying to redraw your lines. Turning the other cheek and turning your back are not the same thing. The willingness to die for something does not indicate a low valuation of life it expresses a high valuation of that something. People without a legitimate means of expressing themselves will find an illegitimate means. Your pain is not special. Nobody will ever understand you if you refuse to try to express yourself. Nobody will ever want to understand you if you do not want to understand them. Nobody will ever understand you if you do not try to understand yourself. You will never be finished trying to understand yourself. The people who love you are the ones who are willing to tell you the things you don't want to hear. The people you love are the ones you really listen to. There is nothing wrong with trying to understand something that you do not think you agree with. Nobody has it all figured out just yet.
Tuesday, April 20, 2004
Some people pride themselves on knowing how the world is. Some people pride themselves on knowing how the world should be. Some people realize that neither is knowable and simply dedicate themselves to trying to make what will be a little better than what is.
Monday, April 19, 2004
Tough weekend. It seems that I shyed away from an opportunity for some deeper reflection, from the opportunity to encourage some deeper reflection, and from the opportunity to share the results of both. I still haven't found my true voice. My head is swimming and my heart is aching and neither understands the other. Perhaps some sleep will help.
Wednesday, April 14, 2004
I'm a little frustrated right now. I just had an argument where my side was the bigger picture, where my side was to see it from both sides, where my side was to face the pain and have faith that there is something better on the other side. I wasn't looking to be told that I was right, I was looking to be told that I might not be wrong. The people who are the most certain that others will never change are usually unwilling to change themselves. The cycle will never end if you continue to give what you receive and say that it was theirs to begin with. Am I repeating myself or what?
Tuesday, April 13, 2004
So if you hadn't noticed I changed the title of this thing. The source remains the same, the mood a little different. For whatever reason I have been thinking of this line over and over for the past week or so and finally acknowledged that it more accuratly defined my current undefinable pattern of thought. The sub-heading may experience a little flux over the next while. Any feedback?
Monday, April 12, 2004
Saturday, April 10, 2004
Friday, April 09, 2004
If the human consciousness is a bridge between the finite and the infinite, between mind and matter, between the discrete and the continuous then which realm's laws is it subject to? If instantaneousness is an illusion of perception then what can be said of death? Perhaps the solution is in the complex plane. That's where the tachyons live right?
Thursday, April 08, 2004
Wednesday, April 07, 2004
Guilt. Where does it come from? Expectations? Responsibility? Obligation? Duty? Desire? Dissatisfaction? Perfectionism? Limitations? Weakness? Regret? Or perhaps it results from the lack of acknowledgement and acceptance of its source. A quiet voice ignored will eventually shout to be heard.
I couldn't sleep so I figured I would share a little something that has been running through my mind. I have been thinking that the purpose of life is to build something beautiful. That raises the question of what is beauty. The clichéd response to which is beauty is in the eye of the beholder. This is often interpreted as meaning that beauty is subjective. I am beginning to form the opinion that beauty is a process rather than a state. Beauty is experienced, inspired, and shared. That which begets beauty is beautiful. It would then follow that to build something beautiful is simply to play a part in the process of beauty. Eh?
Monday, April 05, 2004
I love old friends. People who have spent enough time with you to know you and who know you well enough not to define you. People who really listen to you and who you really want to listen to. People who are a part of you by your own choice and who choose to make you a part of them. I love old friends.