So I've been hanging out in southern Ontario for about a month now. My original plans got F'ed up by yours truly and a clear and present cash flow situation. I have thusly been seeking gainful employment rather than the volunteer work that had originally been sustaining me. There are a number of possible solutions that have presented themselves but I'm not sure how things are going to pan out. I may have found a little organic internship in Sterling, I may pick some corn for a while, I may sell my soul to Corporate enterprise. I'm heading to see if I can make the internship work tomorrow, wish me luck.
Thursday, July 22, 2004
I forgot how joyful sitting and waiting for a download using dial-up can be. It's giving me some time to contemplate I guess, not always sure if that is a good thing. I need money. I need a job. I need a good kick in the ass. The next time you feel the urge to sneeze try to observe the urge rather than give in to it. It's not always easy but easy is no fun anyways. How long is two years? Long enough I'd say. Or would I? Kritical.
Monday, July 19, 2004
Some days I sit here waiting for something to grab me. Some witty little paradox or pun or twist of words. I imagine making people think. I dream of being a life changing catalyst. But then once again my far reaching thoughts return to their usual preoccupation; themselves. Thinking about thinking about thinking about thinking... Makes me think of a Van Morrison lyric that goes something like "I love to love the love that loves to love..." I'm feeling a little bit of deja ecrit. Getting back to it; what is a worthwhile enterprise? I waned to discuss corporations using some religions metaphors. Employees are like clergy, customers like the congregation. If you didn't believe would you want to be a priest? If you didn't believe would you go to church? Maybe a military analogy would be better. If there were multiple armies and you were free to join up with any of them would you make the decision based on how much they paid you, what your responsibilities would be, and the liklihood of success in war or would you make your decision based on what they represented, what they fought for? Blah, blah, blah. People, politics, business, religion, family. Why do I think about this stuff? Why do I think about it here? I made black bean and sweet potato stew for dinner, it was tasty. Hempola? I wonder what Woody is up to right now.
Wednesday, July 14, 2004
I don't know if I have mentioned it here before but I just thought I should tell you all that I am an asshole. Sometimes I see myself being an asshole and rather than do something about it I just watch it happen. This may not make sense but I sometimes think that being an asshole is a way of getting back at myself. A form of punishment, not meant for the recipient of the assholeness, aimed at myself. You may not understand me here or you may not understand why I am doing something but either way just think to yourself "Poor Sadistic Basard." As I've said before, don't take it personally.