Haven't been writing much in here lately. New city, new year, new moon; same old gut wrenching internal conflict, uncertainty, confusion, loneliness, and fog. Still working on the practical side of things I understand mostly at a conceptual level. Implementation is meant to be a rough and difficult process.
I was thinking about all the connections and disconnections of my life and felt a combination of appreciation and longing. Simultaneously full and empty feelings. It's hard not to focus on the empty. It's hard not to give in to the empty. It's hard not to become attached to the empty. It's hard to accept the empty without believing that it needs to be filled with anything other than understanding.
I've got a backlog of things I want to express. Building your own metaphors, trying to find it is how you lost it in the first place, comfort zone horizons, and pride destroying your strengths. I'm going to try to get back to the book.
I've been playing with this little idea of life-cycles. At first I was thinking of them as ABCABCABC... I'm starting to think that it is more like ABCCBAABC... or something like that. Perhaps a different notation could be used like ABCC'B'A'A''B''C''. I'll have to elaborate later.
Enough jibber-jabber. Happy New Year everyone, lets make it one worth remembering.
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