Wednesday, October 20, 2004
I had a discussion with a friend/co-worker today regarding being at peace with how things are. I said that things are as they are meant to be. He wanted to know what I meant by meant. He brought up the old argument of free-will vs. determinism and really demanded that I tell him what I was saying. I got confused and befuddled. I didn’t understand why at the time. In talking with him I had lost my connection to that thing that I was trying to express; that internal conception that can never be perfectly verbalized. I felt defensive. I allowed myself to be limited by the framework offered by my friend. When asked if I meant A or B I forgot about none of the above and all of the above. I wanted to have the answer and be able to explain it. I wanted to understand what I meant. I got lost in thought whereas knowing that things are as they should be, as they must be, as they are, is not a thought. I forget how much easier it is to speak and act from the heart.