Do you always realize a major milestone of your life as is passes or does its significance require a certain amount of reflection after the fact to reveal its impact. Isn't all understanding of your life actually after the fact? I often find myself crippled by the desire to know in the now to the detriment of being in the now. Like an experimenter who is distracted trying to make sense of the data he has while the experiment is still in progress. At least I'm still trying to gather new data I guess.
Living in a rural area and working outdoors has allowed me to start getting reconnected to some of the natural cycles of the universe. I watch the movement of the moon, planets, sun and stars in the sky rather than on the calendar. I feel the wind, pressure, temperature, and precipitation each day rather than hearing about them in the news. I smell the change of season. I taste the current harvest. I see and hear the migration of birds.
How difficult is it to pay attention to my own cycles? Of mood, digestion, hydration, hunger, temperature, heart rate, breathing, and sleep. To experience them. To know them not with a desire to control them but with a wish to know them for what they truly are. To know the universe and I are one and the same. The line I draw between them is arbitrary and self inflicted.
Don't believe me, just try to pay a little better attention. Stop pre-defining your experience of this world. Open. At least draw the line in pencil.