Saturn Monkeys

OK, so I`m back in the city. I have taken a break from my travels to help my mother move. I have been meaning to update this thing with stories of my adventures but realized that recounting the intimate details of my life is not typically what I do here. So this is what you get instead:

When confronted with new situations do you have a tendency to rely on a crutch to get you through? Do you fall back on an old behavior pattern? An adult version of thumb sucking or a security blanket?

When trying to sleep on a bus, train, or plane do you allow yourself to become frustrated that you cannot get comfortable and cannot fall asleep or do you make your goal to be as relaxed and peaceful as possible given the circumstances.

If you believe that it is more important to be open and listen to other perspectives rather than forcing your own and you meet someone who you consider to be closed and unable to listen to other perspectives wouldn`t it be best to practice rather than preach and lead by example.

Hitchhiking is a wonderful life lesson.

Your life when considered without a boundary is probably not sustainable. What are you doing about that?

Where are you in your Saturn cycles?

Do you try to medicate or understand your pain? If you can`t feel your pain do you believe it is gone?

Do you know how far you can walk in eight hours? Could you walk for eight hours?

Are you a culture/philosophy/religion of many or of one?

Do you believe in possibilities beyond your belief or do you believe only in your belief?

How do you define success?

Do you know who you are or only who you think you should be?

Do you always get what you want or do you only want what you know you can get?

Are you fighting for what you believe or against everything else?

Try not to think about monkeys for five consecutive minutes.

Thursday

Dinner was nice last night. The owner of the café was not there so I’m not sure if we got the truly authentic version of the meals we ordered. I was roped into eating chicken, the texture of which seemed like it was canned meat. Marcelle looked through my WOOFing book and gave me some advice on where I should go next. She told me that she is no longer going through Moncton so she is going to drop me off in Fredericton instead. I’m gong to stay at a hostel and think about either heading out on Saturday or Sunday for Moncton. Marcelle and I had some great conversations and I found myself opening up to her and sharing some intimate details of my childhood. It was really nice. This morning I headed out early so that I could have breakfast at Gene’s and avoid any unnecessary curiosity. Today we weeded, rock picked and planted some sunflowers. Jordan left at lunch. In the afternoon we planted some chives and then I helped Matt replant some potatoes for a little experiment of his regarding mound height and girth. I cut my fingers a little while cutting some tin for garden signs. Marcelle came by to pick up the whole foods coop supplies for her house and asked if I was coming by tonight. I told her that I was probably going to be staying here to take care of some business with planning, packing, and whatnot. She was not happy but had a difficult time expressing it. She’s no Annabelle. I got an email form my mother today asking if I could be home to help her move at the end of June. It actually fits into my plans quite well. I hope she’s OK. I was thinking about smoking and drinking at various points today. I need to observe these feelings, I’ve got a lot of them going right now.

Crowganic Experience

Hey Kids!!! I'm still alive, doing a little WWOOFing here in New Brunswick. I'm just about finished my first two week placement and am going to be touring a little before my next organic farm volunteering stop in Nova Scotia. I'm not sure exactly where I am going but I am going to try to get it worked out tonight. I've been making entries for the blog but I have not been able to connect with my laptop yet. Soon soon, you shall know all, and trust me, there is much to know. If you want to check out where I am go to www.fallsbrookcentre.ca. I'll be back soon.

Wednesday

Last night I stayed home and tried to meditate and think about what I was going to do with myself for the next few weeks. As you can tell I still have these moments of emptiness. I am questioning if a short term relationship is the best idea, if it fits into my current value system, if it is … whatever. It rained all day and got really hard and cold in the afternoon. I was asked to go out for dinner in Florenceville at the Baghdad Café. It will be nice to get out.

Tuesday

I kicked the power cord on my computer and lost the fist version of this post. What can you do? Last night we all went over to Sally’s place for burritos and beer and were entertained with a tour of her farm. She has like three hundred acres and raises chickens and turkeys, grows apples, oats, and hey, her son runs a small paint ball operation, she has a small maple syrup setup, and she has a red pine log cabin on the hill for the view. I left early to hangout at the old stone mill in the marsh and watch the beaver lodge for some activity. There was none, but there was some good company. When I was walking in to work this morning my sort of boss here drove by and gave us a lift. She looked at me sideways and asked how I had gotten out to the Simms house so early in the morning. I told her there was a transporter accident. Today I spent a lot of time with the new WOOFer Jordan. He works for something called Katimavik or something like that. He is very inquisitive and we had a good conversation about life in general. I’m feeling a little low right now, haven’t quite put my finger on it just yet. I think I am having trouble with my inability to connect with these people in the way I believe I should or the way I wish I could. I’m just having trouble accepting myself for who I am and that makes me less than myself. I don’t know. As with my work here I have planted a lot of seeds but have yet to see any growth. All the action remains below the surface. There has been a lot of talk around here about the last frost on the coming full moon. I think I will be happy to be done with the frost for this spring.