"Love is the difficult realization that something other than oneself is real." - Iris Murdoch
Saturday, January 10, 2004
Learning to Help
No one has the answers, we are all just making the best with what we have. That being said, we still have a tendency to approach situations as if we already have the answers. We see situations, recognize patterns and come up with courses of action. We sometimes forget that the course of action is a guideline developed from our experience that will require modification to fit the current situation. We also impose this phenomenon on others in our advice. We project ourselves into their lives, make assumptions, recognize patterns, and come up with courses of action. Then we have the gall to give that advice as an imperative. We refuse to admit that our own advice to ourselves is often filled with bad judgment yet we are quite content to continue advising everyone else. The best advice helps the other person make their own choice and reminds them that making the wrong choice is not the end of the world. Helping is learning, not teaching.
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